


Deciding

by olivemartini



Category: Stitchers, Stitchers (TV)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Romance, camsten, i really don't know how to use the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemartini/pseuds/olivemartini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Is it worth it?"<br/>"I don't know.  But if you figure it out, tell me?"<br/>This is Kirsten figuring out the answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deciding

Kirsten broke out of the stitch, gasping like she had just ran a marathon. It took her a second to get a hold on her surroundings, and she didn't calm down until Cameron was right in front of her.  Everyone was scrambling around her, trying to make sense of her vitals and what went wrong with the equipment, but Cameron was just standing there.

"It's okay.  Breathe, Kirsten.  Breathe with me."

And it was easier, somehow, to separate reality from the monstrosity she had just witnessed, when he was holding onto her hand.

_Maybe that's why I love him, because he can get through to me faster with one touch than with a million words._

 

 

"Morning, sunshine."

Kirsten almost groaned when she heard his voice on the other end.  "Cameron."

"How's your blood pressure?  Medical said it was a little high."  She could hear him rummaging around for something, probably breakfast or his keys, seeing as how he wasn't at the lab yet.

"It's fine, Cameron."  Kirsten wanted to tell him to stop worrying, but couldn't.  She realized now that these calls happened only after he had a bad night, the times when he saw what happened with Marta again and again.  She knew that when he wakes up, he goes back through the video, trying to find a different way to end things, in case it happened again with her.  "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?  Because we don't have to-"

"Go through with the stitch?  Yes, we do."  Kirsten could never decide if she found these check up comforting or suffocating.  Maybe it was a mixture of both.  "I'm fine, Cameron.  Trust me."

"Alright."  Like always, those seemed to be the magic words.  "I do.  I do trust you."

_Maybe it's because you care so damn much, even when I don't want you to.  Maybe it's the nicknames you greet me with, or how we can tell what the other is really trying to say.  Or maybe I love you just because I really, really like the way your voice sounds when you just wake up._

 

She didn't like this one bit.  She hated dancing, hated how she had to wear a dress that clung to her, as Linus said, "in all the right places."  She didn't like the heels, which made her taller than a skyscraper.  She didn't like the way the other girls were looking at her, like she was something unpleasant they had found stuck to their shoe.

"Cameron."  She had hissed at him.  "They're staring at me."

"They're jealous because you're prettier than them.  Get used to it."  He grinned at her, slightly embarrassed now that he realized what he had said.  "You look beautiful tonight, Kirsten."

_Maybe it's these offhand comments and these muttered compliments, but I find myself hanging onto every single word you say, like your words could teach me the secrets of the universe.  (I'm still not entirely convinced they couldn't.)_

 

 

"Happy birthday!"  Kirsten stared, stunned, as Cameron practically skipped up to her, holding a gift wrapped present.  There was a pink bow on top, and the wrapping paper was little teddy bears, which somehow made it more special.  "Sorry about the wrapping paper.  I had to ask the elderly woman across the street to wrap it."

Dumbstruck, Kirsten could only stare at the package when he put it on the table before her.  "How did you know it was my birthday?"

"I looked it up in the agency files.  Which," he added, "may sound creepy, but Camille didn't know when your birthday was when I asked, so I just looked it up, and when I saw it was this week-," He gestured towards the present again.  "Aren't you going to open it?"

"No one except Ed has even told me happy birthday, let alone get me a present." 

"Well, it's nothing special.  I just kind of got you the generic girl present thing."  Cameron shrugged, looking worried.  "You might not even like it."

"I don't care."  She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and trying to let him know how grateful she was for this.  "I love it." 

_I love you because you remembered my birthday when no one else did.  I love you for the way you had it wrapped, for the pink bow on top.  I love how the present was a pink teddy bear and a starbucks gift card and the first season of Doctor Who, which was the strangest -but best- gift I've ever received.  And maybe I love you even more because you showed up that night with cake and champagne when you realized I wasn't having a party._

 

 

"Are you insane?"  Cameron stared at Kirsten like she had truly lost her mind.  True, she was standing in the freezing night air in only her underwear and a tank top, but so was Camille.  Linus had ditched the shirt and was on the way to losing his jeans.  "We cannot go break into a swimming pool.  That's crazy."

"Technically, it's not breaking in if they leave the gate open for us."  Camille grabbed Linus by the hand, yanking him into the water.

"It's cold."  Cameron was looking a little desperate.

"You can keep the shirt on."  Kirsten didn't look at him, just focused on the splashes and shrieks coming from the direction of her two best friends.  "We'll walk to the edge of the pool and I'll push you in and then you won't take your shirt off since you're already wet.  They won't have to know about the scar."

Cameron laughed then, one short, disbelieving chuckle.  "You weren't even supposed to know about the scar."

"They won't care.  Probably won't bring it up."  This, they both knew, was a lie.  They wouldn't think less of him for it, but they would be curious.  "Or if you don't want to swim, I'll wait here with you.  But please?"

Cameron just shook his head, pulling of his shirt and kicking off his jeans, then racing into the pool.

_I think that was the night I realized that every bit of will power you had crumbled whenever I said please, and I love you for it._

 

 

"You're cold."  It was a statement, not a question. 

"I didn't know the heat was out.  I would have brought a jacket." 

"Here."  He took of his sweatshirt, holding it out to her. 

"Cameron...."

He threw it at her, not waiting to see if she would put it on.  "I have an extra.  Just quit being stubborn."

Kirsten pulled it on, loving how warm it was and the way it was slightly too big on her.   The sleeves fell to her fingertips.  Checking to make sure no one was watching, she brought the sleeve up to her nose and sniffed.  It smelled like him.

_I love you for being a gentleman and not asking for you sweatshirt back, even though you caught me using it as pajamas._

 

 

"Kirsten!"

The bomb had went off seconds before, blasting both her and Cameron back into the wall.  She couldn't remember why they had been there -she had hit her head very hard- but she could remember that Cameron had shoved her behind him, absorbing most of the debris. 

"Cam-"  She coughed, trying to see through the cloud of dust.  "Cameron."

She spotted him crawling towards her, clutching his side.  He wouldn't let her look at it, just ran his one hand over her arm, checking to see where she was hurt.  He touched the bump on her head, cringing when she winced.  "Are you hurt?"  He snapped his fingers in front of her, a desperate look on her face, and she tried to focus.  "Kirsten.  Where are you hurt?"

"My head.  But-,"  she touched his side, noticing the red stain that was spreading through his shirt.  "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine."  He laid back on the ground.  "I'll be fine."  Still, he didn't protest when she took charge and proceeded to perform first aid on the wound.

_I was barely bruised and you were bleeding, but you still wanted the paramedics to check me first.  And that's how I figured out that maybe you loved me, too, just a little._

 

 

"Is it worth it?"  Kirsten remembered asking that question a lifetime ago.

"I don't know.  But if you figure it out, tell me, okay?" 

_It's worth it, Cameron.  It's worth everything._


End file.
